tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post1374867172475460890..comments2023-04-09T02:24:26.092-07:00Comments on Parent-Free By Choice: "There is no place for regret..."Vickie@Demand_Euphoriahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17706946767924290485noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-77804502843961506352011-09-13T16:17:36.640-07:002011-09-13T16:17:36.640-07:00@Anonymous 12:48--You're welcome. I hope I ca...@Anonymous 12:48--You're welcome. I hope I can keep that same perspective too. :)<br /><br />Thank you, also, for noting the distinction between approval and love. I believe they are two very different things. I think of approval as an external trait, often based in the perceived outcome of a situation. I approve of that choice because it will bring a positive result. I disapprove of that choice because it will bring about a negative result. I can't know the truth with 100% certainty, I can't predict the future, so it's not fair for me to tell my child I love them because society agrees with their life choices, because the results would be positive. It completely dismisses the intrinsic value in the journey. Teaching and encouraging my child to know his own truth, to create his own reality, I believe, is the best part of being a parent! :)Aubreyhttp://embracingthismoment.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-72857070600944140802011-09-13T12:48:13.015-07:002011-09-13T12:48:13.015-07:00I appreciate your sharing this story with us. Esp...I appreciate your sharing this story with us. Especially touching to me was when you said "...to never tell him he is a bad person or unloved because I don't agree with his life choices." Deep down I hope that my children will make choices that I feel are good, but all children end up following their own path. I want to be able to keep perspective like yours, that I may not approve with what they are doing but I love them because they are my child and they shouldn't need to earn my love. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-88058978245547813442011-09-13T10:45:25.400-07:002011-09-13T10:45:25.400-07:00@Wolfmother--I initially limited my troubled relat...@Wolfmother--I initially limited my troubled relationship to this altercation with my dad, but when I really began examining it, there were so many more instances, so much more dysfunction. So I send you warm energy, loving support, and an open heart. <br /><br />@Vanessa and Anonymous--Thank you both. I actually don't know that I ever felt the pressure of society's expectations to stay in the relationship...I already had a split home, broken family story, so this wasn't too much of a further separation. For me, it was more of what I told myself I wanted to have...the fairy-tale ending, the love, the so-called happy family vacations...that's not always worth it when you have to sacrifice your self-worth or any of your personal values...just as you said.Aubreyhttp://embracingthismoment.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-39535780986731169512011-09-13T07:49:13.325-07:002011-09-13T07:49:13.325-07:00Thanks for sharing your story. These are OUR lives...Thanks for sharing your story. These are OUR lives and we have the right to live in more peace and happiness. Sometimes a relationship is just not worth the pain it causes anymore. Just because these people supposedly raised us or are blood related to us, doesn't give them the right to treat us this way and it doesn't mean we have an obligation to stay in a toxic relationship with them, even though society pressures us to do so. Wolfmother, I have always felt like my mother only cared about seeing my son, not me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-58967218795733708602011-09-13T07:27:43.058-07:002011-09-13T07:27:43.058-07:00((hugs)) Aubrey, you are a great Mommy and I am gl...((hugs)) Aubrey, you are a great Mommy and I am glad you have found the courage to move on, despite the pain.Vanessanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-62685503100803108992011-09-13T06:33:56.717-07:002011-09-13T06:33:56.717-07:00I am going through something similar with my mothe...I am going through something similar with my mother right now whom I thought we had a close relationship but as soon as I questioned her about an aspect of her life that she isn't comfortable facing, she turned on me and cut me off. She expects me to let her see her grandson without healing our relationship first and I am not one to pretend everything is okay for face value. It hurt, feeling rejected by her but my family comes first and if she doesn't deem our relationship worthy of working on, perhaps it is for the best that we remain apart. It's heartbreaking nonetheless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-62637642996220682462011-09-13T06:33:21.899-07:002011-09-13T06:33:21.899-07:00Thank you both! I agree Ani...the best way to mov...Thank you both! I agree Ani...the best way to move forward is to let go of both. It isn't an easy process, but the freedom I feel is amazing, and makes it all worth it.Aubreyhttp://embracingthismoment.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-67355251848814620352011-09-13T06:18:36.319-07:002011-09-13T06:18:36.319-07:00What a touching & painful story. I'm glad ...What a touching & painful story. I'm glad that you've found the courage and strength to be the mother you want to be and to create a loving family for your son. We can't choose our parents, and while we expect them to love us unconditionally they are human too and sometimes their flaws prevent them from living up to our expectations. Sometimes letting go of them, and our expectations, is the best way to move forward.Anihttp://simplesinglemom.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1144141303938808400.post-13194727580170384282011-09-13T06:11:33.711-07:002011-09-13T06:11:33.711-07:00Wow :) thank you for sharing *hugs* I think your s...Wow :) thank you for sharing *hugs* I think your son & husband are lucky to have such a loving & confident woman in their life. Kudos to you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com